Are you my mommy?!?

Ok... I don't know why, but every year I attempt (foolishly I must add) to update our family tree. Mom has come to expect my call every January or so with the same question... "what exactly happened to your grandmother?" This has been driving me crazy for 7-8 years now. My grandfather on my mom's side is pretty easy... there are tons of Hendersons out there. My mom's mom's mom (lol) and dad are a different story. I think there is a sad tale there, but I want to know. My great grandmother was named Martha/Marta Berends/Behrends/Patch/Patzkowski. As you can see... the name variations alone are enough to drive one batty. I found a death index for what I believe to be her, but the death date is WAY off of what everyone has been told. Her death was very hush hush and I am beginning to think that she didn't pass when everyone thought she did. I found a Martha Patch that was born the same time as my grandmother's mom and in Ohio. The death date wasn't until 1979 though. This is about 40 years later than the suspected death date. The question is... how do you prove it? Short of doing the unmentionable, I haven't a clue. I can't find a death date with any of those names during 1939 as I was told, so either she didn't die then or she "got lost in the system". *sigh*

My dad's side of the family is another story. Both grandparents on both sides were fresh off the boat, so unless I learn to speak/read Hungarian... I am out of luck. Doing genealogy is fun, but also very very frustrating. Most places charge you a very large subscription fee and even with that, you don't get what you want. Oh well.... if anyone is interested.. I keep updating the family tree on http://www.buday.myheritage.com/

As for Christmas... it was nice, but I have been sick since Christmas with a blasted sinus infection and I can't seem to shake it, so I have been one lazy piece of poo. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!